Beautiful

I couldn’t breath, exhaustion set in I just wanted to sleep, the burning in my chest  made me want to cry out. “I was gonna kiss you if you hadn’t stopped” you said smirking. I wanted to vomit”That wouldn’t of helped””I can see it in your eyes you want to kiss me”No. Please. Stop. No. “No. No I didn’t”I say more demanding this time. He inched closer and I turn my head away.”I know you want to”He says annoyed. I started to panic more picking at the fuzz on my leggings. This time he grabs my face pulling me closer. Maybe he will stop talking about it. If I just let him do it once he’ll stop. His lips touch mine before he pushes his tongue down throat I try to pull away but he holds his grip on the back of my neck.

I was pinned down my wrists and thighs hurt with the grip on them. The pressure building between my legs made me want to scream but no sound escaped. Please God make it stop. It hurt so bad. God please.

The pressure stopped and I opened my eyes realizing it was just a flashback but, there was a new boy with his tongue down my throat making me choke on it. He saw my opened eyes and pulled back smirking at me. before he pushed his hands under my shirt they were cold but seemed to burn my flesh.He grabbed my boobs next hard making me whimper. He didn’t care though he moved his lips to suck on them them hurt even more. I stared over his shoulder at the cat that sat in the chair next to the bed forgetting about the pain in my breasts I completely shut down. I don’t know how much time passed but the pain came back and I reached for my phone texting my aunt to come and get me”Sorry I have to go Chloe’s sick” I lie”No I don’t want you to leave”He says”Just stay the night”He says”No I can’t I have to go take care of Chloe”I say He jumps up blocking the door and pointing to a gun laying on his shelf”I can’t live without you. I’ll just blow my brains out. I can’t lose you. Your the only thing that makes me happy”He says”You need to find happiness in other things not people”I say hoping he wouldn’t get angry”I don’t think it’s bad for a person as beautiful as you to make me happy”He says I feel disgusting “I look at my phone “I really have to go I’ll see you tomorrow”I say quickly going past him and out the door.

It’s almost two weeks later and I still feel disgusting. My body isn’t mine anymore it’s just a disgusting shell containing my soul. I try to shower and scrub until my whole body stings but it’s still there my whole body covered in a gross layer of him everyplace he has touched feels broken like they are no longer mine. My body’s not mine. It’s not beautiful. If I have to go through that to be beautiful. I never want to be beautiful

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